Journals
by BadgerWolf
Summary: A growing trend has begun sweeping Monstropolis. At various points in their life, usually at the point of a big change, famous monsters are called upon to record an audio journal. Most prominent amongst these monsters are Scarers, who to the world at large lead the most fascinating lives of all. This is a collection of just some of those journals.
1. Journal 1: James P Sullivan

_**[Sullivan, James. 28 years old. Currently residing in Monstropolis. CEO of Monsters, Incorporated.]**_

"Like, the famous Sullivan?"

"It's time to start delivering on that Sullivan name."

"You'll never know what it's like to fail because you were born a Sullivan!"

Sullivan, Sullivan, Sullivan. Time and time again. Ugh… I hated that name so much. Why in Monstropolis I decided to use it the way I did… even I don't know. But there's one thing I do know. I began to hate it even more.

See, when I was back in high school, being a Sullivan wasn't actually that big a deal. I was a scary monster. It didn't matter if I had the knowledge or the status or even the name to back it up, being scary was enough. I was also a bit of a hit with the ladies, heh, but that's another story…

But that all changed when I got to college. Suddenly, status was everything. The name was everything. And, even though I didn't want to believe it at the time, so was knowledge. Everything I'd ignored all through school suddenly came back to bite me. But did I care? No, not really.

When I got to my first class, late as usual because for whatever reason I thought I could carry on getting away with it, I introduced myself with my full name. I knew what I was doing; I knew they'd all know my name… my father's name… And I used that to my advantage. I got a rise out of everyone; I was instantly popular amongst _all these monsters_ who didn't even know me! I was favourite amongst my professors, I was picked up by the top fraternity on campus, I had it made. And all because of my status. Because of my family. Because of my father.

I don't know why I did it. Well, I do in a way. I wanted the popularity, I _needed_ it! Or so I thought at the time. And I was willing to use my name to get it, despite how much I hated it. See, not a lot of monsters know that I considered changing my name. Several times, actually. I still do from time to time, but what with establishing a name for myself, that would just confuse things at this point. The CEO of a major corporation can't go changing their name without being asked a lot of questions.

Like it or not, I'm stuck with my father's name. And I guess, when you get down to it, it's not such a bad thing. Not as bad as what I used to think it was. But it probably all started around the time I got to high school.

My father left when I was pretty young. Four or five years old, I'm not exactly sure. I don't really care to remember either. Anyway, it wasn't exactly the last time I saw him, but it wasn't really far from it. I didn't hear from him for a couple years. Then I got a phone call. See, I was still a kid, I didn't know any better. I was so happy! I finally got to speak to my dad again! It was almost more than my heart could take. I remember babbling on for _so long_. How I'd been doing at school, which new friends I'd made, what I was getting up to with different clubs…

_**[A short pause follows.]**_

And that was it. He spoke to my mom for… about two minutes, I think, before I got hold of the phone. He listened to everything I said, or at least I assume he did. Then he told me he loved me, promised to call again soon and… put the phone down. It was a couple more years until we heard from him again. It was a shorter phone call. He promised to come and see us soon. I was overjoyed! But… he never did.

_**[A sigh is heard before another short pause.]**_

I remember waiting around with my mom, sat on a park bench for two full hours. It was cold, and wet, and dark by the time we left. I was devastated. There I was, finally getting the chance to see my dad after four long years… and he never showed. He didn't bother calling to cancel, he didn't bother calling to apologise after… It was another year before we heard from him again. He suggested we try to meet up again. This time he really did follow through. I don't think I was as thrilled to see him as I would have been the year before. But I was still happy. He acted like the perfect father, spent all his time focused on me, letting me just… enjoy his company…

_**[A couple of sniffing noises are heard.]**_

That was the last time I saw him. I didn't get another call from him until I started high school. I asked when we could meet up. He told me he didn't know. I asked him why he wouldn't call me more often than he did. He didn't answer me. I think… I was just so angry! I was so angry that I yelled at him, told him I hated him, and slammed the phone down on him. By that point I think I'd wised up. I knew he didn't care. Not really.

I got through high school pretty easily. It was mostly down to my looks, and my natural ability. I could be scary, I could act scary. Scaring was always something I wanted to do because it was what I aspired to be. When I was younger it was because I looked up to my father. Later on… I suppose it was so I could be better than him.

I went into high school on a mission. I wanted to prove that I could be scary. And like I said, I did that easily. Unfortunately, because it _was_ so easy, I didn't really study as much as I should've. I grew cocky, arrogant… I thought my natural ability was enough. And, for some reason, no teacher ever told me differently.

I graduated high school with top grades. Somehow. My father wasn't there, and he didn't call either, though I can't say I was surprised. But I just remember the look on my mom's face… She was sitting there, in this huge sea of monsters all sat on these really small, uncomfortable metal chairs, and she just looked _so_ proud. I'll never forget that look for as long as I live.

_**[A short pause. Mr. Sullivan seems to smile fondly at the aforementioned memory.]**_

College was a completely different experience. I knew what was up. I knew what I had to do to make a statement. And like I said before, that statement was my name. A family connection to a world-class Scarer was certain to make an impression, and I played that card at the earliest opportunity I had. Sure, I had a smile on my face, pretended everything was fine. I couldn't let on there was trouble at home. That could've brought down my reputation as soon as I'd gotten it.

Honestly, I'm surprised no-one did find that out. I don't think it was ever a secret that my father had left home. Or that he'd become a drunk. Oh, sorry, forgot to mention. At some point during high school I found out why he left home. Apparently he couldn't handle the stress of the job, or something like that. He took to alcohol and left us behind. Something about 'not wanting to hurt us', I dunno. But yeah, it was never a big secret. No-one at college seemed to know, or at least no-one ever brought it up. I'd have thought the guys in Roar Omega Roar would have mentioned it, but no. Nothing.

Anyway, I'm pretty sure everyone knows what happened next. I made an embarrassment of myself, so did Mike who wasn't exactly my best friend at the time, heh. We were kicked off the program, entered the Scare Games to get back onto it and ultimately we ended up expelled from the university. Now, my mom wasn't particularly happy with me about _that_, lemme tell you. But… I think we both took the lessons we needed from the experience.

We got jobs at Monsters, Inc., started off in the mailroom and worked our way up. I'll never forget our first day there, we had a blast! Somehow, it didn't matter that we ended up sorting mail for a living. And our boss… well, he was just a riot. A real character, Mr. Snowman…

_**[A sad sigh is heard.]**_

Still, I'm glad he's happy where he is now. We still visit him from time to time, me and Mike. I'm not sure if the CDA are exactly happy about it, but… well, they haven't stopped us yet.

Pretty soon, we started our first day on the Scare Floor. We couldn't believe it! Our dream, and we were living it! Now, I don't wanna brag, but they were pretty impressed with my Scare try-out. Shocked as well. I think we were among the first to be employed as a Scare Team without college degrees.

And that was how it was for almost nine years. Me and Mike, living out our dreams on the Scare Floor. Not long after that… my father called again. I was… pretty surprised, actually. I'd given up on ever hearing from him again long before that. He… he didn't make much sense in what he said. It was obvious he was drunk. I don't know what possessed him to call me, and I don't really know what he wanted. We didn't speak very long. But… he did tell me he loved me. And that… And that he was… was proud of me…

_**[A couple of sniffs and a small whimper can be heard.]**_

Sorry, I just…

_**[A deep breath, followed by a ragged sigh.]**_

I… don't know why that affected me so much. And I didn't really know how to feel. I was sad, angry… happy… I think I felt a little proud myself, actually. I guess I never really did let go of that childhood dream of making my father proud.

I never heard from him again. He lives abroad now. Well, I assume he does, if he hasn't killed himself with the drink yet. I don't really want that to happen, but I don't think I can do anything to stop him. And… well… Never mind.

_**[A short pause follows.]**_

I'm guessing the, uhh… 'incident' is old news by now. With Mr. Waternoose under arrest the company seemed doomed. It was only by chance I even had the idea of turning Monsters, Inc. into what it is today. If it hadn't been for the… child… that escaped the factory, and something Mike just happened to mention when everything was over and done with, I would never have thought to try and convert the company into a Laugh factory.

It was a pretty lengthy process, and was _much_ more complicated than I gave it credit for. First we had to try and convince a team of scientists to help research the benefits of Laugh energy. Then we had to come up with a new can design because the Scream cans couldn't contain the sheer amount of energy produced. _Then_ we had to convince the board of directors to even allow the company to continue. With such a new and barely-proven method of energy production, they took a _lot_ of convincing. But we finally got through to them. I think, more than anything, they were interested to see if it would work. They were ready to pull the plug if it didn't, but, well… Let's just say Mike's a pretty smooth talker. He negotiated a trial period, a small timeframe for us to 'get it right'. To make sure we could do what we hoped we could do.

And it's a good thing it worked, too! So many monsters were out of a job until we managed to get the factory up and running again. Not everyone returned, though. Some moved on to other Scream factories. Some didn't think they'd be suitable for the new job, and went on to find another. And some of them… well, I don't know what happened to them.

_**{A short pause follows. Mr. Sullivan seems somewhat upset.]**_

I really hope they did manage to find another job…

Anyway, here we are! Just one short year later. Somehow the board were convinced I was best suited to serve as CEO. I'm not sure if I'm doing a _great_ job, but… I think I'm doing OK.

Now, I'm not the perfect monster. I have made… regrettable decisions in the past. I've even hurt people. I've hurt friends, I've hurt co-workers… I think I've made peace with most of the people I've done wrong by. Although, there is one I still need to try harder with…

But, I suppose if I could say anything about my life so far, if there's one important lesson I've learned above anything else… Never give up. Life is sure to be full of trips and falls. Heck, sometimes you're even thrown down. But if you pick yourself up, dust yourself off and carry right on, there's no reason why you can't follow your dreams. Even if it's a little… different from what you expected.

Oh, and be proud of who you are. You don't necessarily have to be proud of where you've come from, but _always_ be proud of yourself. And always act in a way you would be proud of. Be kind to others, work hard, chase your dreams as hard as you have to. If at the end of the day you can look in the mirror and smile at the monster looking back at you… You're on the right track.

_**[Interview terminated.]**_


	2. Journal 2: Johnny Worthington III

_**[Worthington, Johnny, III. 46 years old. Currently residing in Sludge Falls. Scarer at Fear Corporation.]**_

Well… It looks like I've come a little unstuck, haven't I? I have always been a confident monster in life, always sure of my decisions, good or bad, but for once I don't know what to do. I am honestly stuck for an answer. Everything I knew is crumbling around me and I don't know how to escape being dragged down with it.

Twelve years. Twelve long, happy years I had spent fulfilling my dreams, working at Fear Co. Sure, it wasn't Monsters, Incorporated like I had first envisaged, but I was happy. I was content. I never broke any records, not outside of this company anyway, but I made a more than modest living. I was amongst the elite as I had always hoped, and yes I do say 'as I had always hoped'. I have long since accepted quite what the expectations were of me from my family and peers, and I do not regret my decision to break away from them and make my own mark.

But now here we are on the cusp of a revolution. One that started twenty years ago and has finally caught me up. I should have been prepared… I _thought_ I was prepared… but I am not. I do not want to let go of a career that has held me in such good stead these many long years, but there is nothing I can do about it.

As everyone in the world knows, twenty years ago Monsters, Incorporated and one James P. Sullivan did something quite unprecedented. They revolutionised the way our world collected power. They solved the energy crisis and many problems in our world along with it. Our economy flourished, political tensions dissolved, and I heard tell even a number of riots had broken out over rising energy prices. Suffice it to say those came to a halt as well.

But there was one less welcome change to come with it. The foundation, the very principles of many monsters' lives and what they aspired to be was slowly being taken away from them. Scaring was no longer the chief method of energy collection. _Amusing_ or whatever the preferred term may be, making human children laugh was the new way. And of course, it was quick to catch on.

Monsters lost jobs. Educational institutions crumbled. Businesses fell. I watched many a grown monster _weep_ and _beg_. Some monsters lost their very will to live…

_**[A short pause follows. A saddened sigh is heard.]**_

I lost a few friends when the change began. And many more monsters I would have considered acquaintances. It was truly a phenomenon to behold, and not one I would ever experience again in my lifetime should I have the choice.

Of course, it was through no fault of Sullivan's own. The benefit _far_ outweighed the bad. He did what was necessary. In a way he _saved_ us. All of us. Surely a monster cannot be blamed for _that_.

Though… not everyone saw it that way at first. Many monsters rebelled against the very idea of it. And, shamefully, I must count myself amongst that number. Amusing threatened a lot of monsters' very existence. Not everyone was ready to adapt so quickly. Many considered it an insult against tradition, one that has been adhered to for thousands of years. And some simply considered it an insult against themselves. Degrading, belittling, _humiliating_…

We have come a long way since then, I think. There are some out there who still think that way, but on the whole I believe Amusing has come to earn quite a favourable reputation. And rightly so! But, it seems now we are on the verge of losing the very last remnants of the Scaring industry.

You see, for the benefit of those who don't know, Scaring still prevailed after Amusing took over, albeit on a much smaller scale. Laughter was a new energy source, one that had yet to be effectively refined as useful energy. Although Laughter was invaluable, refining it was a difficult process and the method had not yet been perfected. As such, Scream was still a viable energy source with refinement methods already proven to be effective. And so, some companies opted to stay in the Scream collection business.

The factories that continued in this vein were flocked to by many Scarers who had lost their jobs. Fear Co. was one such factory. My career was actually under threat at that time. You see, companies such as this one had practically unlimited choice of every Scarer there ever was! And although I am very good at what I do, there were those who were better. And there were those who would settle to work for a much lesser wage. I, myself had to accept a lower salary to keep my job.

But, despite the initial turbulence at that time, the Scarers that were left were eventually able to live and work comfortably. We were able to continue doing what we loved. Life for us was peaceful. And so it remained for another twenty years.

Now, however, it seems the time has come. Methods now exist for Laughter to be refined just as effectively, and so now Scream is no longer useful. This… truly is it. There is no more use for Scarers such as myself. Within a week the career will no longer exist.

Granted, we have had more time to prepare for this, and most are ready to move on. But… I have been hesitant. I simply did not want to be comfortable doing anything else, and so I have made it impossible for myself. Come next week, I will no longer know what to do with myself. I have enough money to retire comfortably; I have even had offers to work in administration and business management. But none of these options are viable. Scaring is, has been, and always will be my passion. I have left no room for anything else.

My future has been doomed by my own hand…

_**[A long pause follows. It should be noted that Mr. Worthington is given a visual prompt to continue.]**_

Yes, let's not dwell on that. I suppose the main thing I wanted to say is, now that I am facing the biggest change in my life, one in which all of my life's work could quite possibly count for naught…

_**[A deep breath being drawn in and exhaled can be heard.]**_

I have… taken the time to question the choices I have made in life. Not all of them have been the right choice, and perhaps a little hesitation could have prevented them. I… haven't exactly been a shining example of morality. There are many monsters I have hurt, perhaps far beyond what could be forgiven. The first was probably back in my days at college, freshman year if memory serves. I was thrust straight into presidency of my fraternity and I… didn't exactly conduct myself as well as perhaps I should have.

Unfortunately, I have also seen first-hand the consequences of my actions. Many monsters were saddened more by my betrayals than others. Some… perhaps if we were to meet, some would tell me I had quite the negative impact in their lives. And I know one monster in particular… well, I already know. I know perhaps I wasn't the sole factor involved, but certainly my actions helped change one monster into something he wasn't. He committed a crime, one not easily forgiven, and I do feel that was at least partially my fault. I hear he has been doing well since coming back from banishment, so I suppose that is something…

I tried contacting him, once. I didn't hear word back from him, but I suppose that was to be expected… All I wanted to do was apologise. I didn't expect forgiveness, I didn't even expect him to be friendly, but to be able to apologise at the very least…

_**[A short pause follows.]**_

Anyway, I did eventually realise that my own selfish desires should not take precedence over others. Perhaps I realised it too late, but I do like to think I gradually became a better monster. I know that in no way does becoming who I am now forgive what I've done in the past, but… No, it really doesn't, does it..?

_**[A saddened sigh is heard.]**_

'What goes around comes around.' It is a crude phrase, but one rather befitting I suppose. Some say bad monsters deserve bad things, and I've had my fair share of monsters saying the exact same to me. Who knows? Perhaps the predicament I now find myself in really is some form of karmic retribution. I do not doubt the fact that I deserve it.

My friends would perhaps defend a lot of my actions. Putting it down to stress, or outside influence. And yes, some of what I've done really was influenced by outside forces. Now, I don't mean to speak ill of the dead, but my father didn't exactly allow me the freedom I would have liked growing up. In fact it was probably only once I'd graduated college that I really took the reins of my own life. But even if a lot of my decisions weren't my own in the strictest sense… it doesn't make them right. And it doesn't excuse me for making them.

_**[A short pause follows.]**_

I look back on my life and, quite honestly, I don't like what I see. For all my accomplishments, my struggles… my life is so empty. And it will only be emptier in a week's time. Scaring has taken up so much of my life that I literally have nothing else! I have a small handful of friends and I will be eternally grateful that they have stuck by me for so long, but… But I…

_**[A couple of sniffs and a small sob can be heard.]**_

I don't think I have anything else to live for… I only now realise why so many monsters did what they did twenty years ago. I doubt I will do the same, but my biggest fear is that my life will become merely an _existence_. That I will just float through life, doing much of nothing, not really living at all. My passion will soon be gone, and I will have none left.

My friends and my mother will undoubtedly be there for me, but I feel they will be the only ones I continue living for. There was never any time for romance in my life, and I have no children of my own, much to my regret. I have no wisdom to pass on because it will now be obsolete.

_**[A small laugh can be heard.]**_

I have done absolutely nothing with my life! Once I am gone from this world, nothing will be left of me. There will be no reason to remember me. My biggest goal in life was to make my own mark, to make a name for myself, but what does that matter in an industry that will soon be dead?

All those monsters I have hurt… Careers ruined, _lives_ ruined… All for nothing! The only thing I have really succeeded in is ensuring I am despised by those undeserving of what I had done to them.

I was so intent on earning a reputation that, for that very same reason, I will have no reputation at all… There will be nothing left… Nothing…

_**[A short pause follows.]**_

I think… I think, quite honestly… this has broken me…

_**[A short pause follows before a deep, rattled breath being taken in and exhaled can be heard.]**_

I'm sorry... I don't have anything left to say.

_**[Interview terminated.]**_


End file.
